Turning Back The Hands Of A Clock

I remember two horrific tragedies in my college days and learned more about them lately.

Ted Bundy was a suspect in more than 30 murders of young women, and later confessed to most of them before the state of Florida put him to death. Criminologist Ann Rule wrote of her friendship with Bundy in “The Stranger Beside Me” before she believed he was the killer. She and many others could never understand the rage of this demented man.

Charles Manson and his family didn’t murder as many victims as Bundy, but he obtained more notoriety. Manson remained in the public eye for 40 years until his death two years ago. And one of his disciples, Lynette Fromm, was charged with attempting to assassinate President Gerald Ford in 1975. I found former “O’Reilly Factor” legal analyst Lis Wiehl’s book, “Hunting Charles Manson,” to be especially insightful offering new information on this cult and its lasting impact on America.

I discovered a movie on the Internet about Manson’s victims from Aug. 9, 1969. This fictionalized story showed actress Sharon Tate and her guests fighting back that horrible night and surviving the intended murders. This is a fascinating re-telling of the story with a more pleasing conclusion.

I began to think of the almost universal longing we have to replay and reconfigure the past.

One man, an air traffic controller, fell into deep depression over an “almost.” He almost allowed a mid-air collision, though he caught his error in time. But he left work for a season rattled by what could have happened.

Most of us are rattled not by the “almosts,” but by what did happen. We took our anger out on someone who just happened to be nearby. We acted thoughtlessly towards a spouse or a child and jeopardized a relationship. We took money that didn’t belong to us or took credit for someone else’s accomplishment. Or perhaps we were dishonest on an examination or job application and were discovered.

We dream of going back and redoing errors with the greater wisdom of time but find this only an illusion. No person, no matter how strong, is strong enough to pull back the hands of a clock.

The Apostle Paul labored under his past, too, since he’d been a persecutor of Christians. In his letter to the Philippians he revealed one of the life lessons he had to learn: “I do this one thing: I forget what is behind and reach forward to what is ahead” (Philippians 3:13).

As followers of Christ we must learn to “thoroughly repent” of our wrong, as evangelist Charles Finney used to say, and then move forward with confidence that a God of mercy “thoroughly” forgives.

The Samaritan's Apothecary

The Samaritans were the “untouchables” of the first century. They shared Jewish ancestry, but their lineage was changed through intermarriage with Canaanites and pagans. A Samaritan woman was surprised when Jesus conversed with her since “Jews have no dealings with Samaritans” (John 4: 9). It’s all the more intriguing, then, when Jesus made a Samaritan the hero of one of his most well-known parables.

Jesus said a lone traveler journeyed from Jerusalem to Jericho when he was accosted by thieves, robbed and beaten. Two religious leaders passed that way but chose not to assist the man. It’s often believed that these leaders may have been en route to worship and didn’t want to be defiled by contact with a corpse should the traveler be dead. No doubt they understood the law’s admonition to help strangers, but there’s a difference between knowing and doing.

The Samaritan showed compassion that day when he interrupted his journey to help the wounded man. He applied first aid, then moved the traveler to safety and rest. We forever remember this helper as the “good” Samaritan. Many in the first century would’ve insisted there’s no one like this since all Samaritans were bad.

The point of Jesus’s story is that we’re all called to show compassion to those in need, and to prove our love for our neighbor whoever he or she might be.

I’ve thought of this story in a new way lately while focusing on the Samaritan’s pharmacy. He poured “oil and wine” into the traveler’s wounds (Luke 10: 34). Wine was used as a disinfectant because of its alcohol content. The oil was like an ointment soothing the bruised and broken wounds in the skin.

I began to think of how this Samaritan’s apothecary might be a good model for brokenness among us.

Today we know the astringent kills germs. When we experience brokenness, we should take the failure first to God asking for his cleansing and wisdom. All of our bad decisions affect our relationship  with God, so we must begin here. Solomon wrote, “The one who conceals his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them will find mercy,” (Proverbs 28:13, CSB).

But we also use the ointment of forgiveness to sooth the brokenness with others. The Scripture exhorts us to be kind and forgive one another as God through Christ has forgiven  (Ephesians 4:32). Thus the forgiveness standard is pretty high. It’s also true that offering forgiveness is good for the offended. Dr. Lewis Smedes said, “When you release the wrongdoer from the wrong, you cut a malignant tumor out of your inner life. You set a prisoner free, but you discover that the real prisoner was yourself.”

No Exit

Years ago students had to relocate to attend theological seminary. I often joke that when I was young, we had seminaries to attend, not just click on! The rise of Internet study has dramatically changed modern education. Nevertheless, my new bride and I packed up and moved to Louisville, our home for the next three years.

I had many wonderful teachers and classes and am grateful for this opportunity. But one of the most vivid memories I have is of a class the name of which I cannot recall and a professor whose name I cannot recall. I suppose I found the material of little value except for one exercise.

The professor listed a “no exit” relationship in the syllabus but said nothing more about it until the day in class he asked us to pair up with someone sitting nearby. Then he announced, “This is your ‘no exit’ relationship partner for the next six weeks.”

Our instructions were to meet weekly for at least an hour and talk. My partner worked in the cafeteria, so we met there for the next few weeks to converse. I soon discovered she was an angry person who had real issues with the church—strange since both she and her husband were enrolled in seminary and served a church near ours. I grew weary of her criticisms and would have ended our discussions, but we were bound by the class rules. After week four or five she revealed how she’d been hurt as a young person in her church by some leaders who were poor examples and did some unkind things; hence, her disappointment with the organized church. I think I became less judgmental.

The next class day after week six our professor became a prophet.

“Many of you experienced conflict and would have ended the relationship had you been allowed to,” he said.

 I thought he had been eavesdropping at our table!

Then our professor explained how so much of life is like this: we meet and enjoy relationships until there is conflict, then we choose to back away. This happens in marriages, at work and at church. He said we ought to declare to our future congregations that we’re in “no exit” relationships and pledge our love for one another even when we disagree.

Over the years I’ve seen the wisdom of his exhortation. Most congregations include people who’ve exited relationships with brothers and sisters in Christ. Sometimes they flee to other churches and sometimes they just give up and stay home.

There is a more excellent way.

The Apostle Paul wrote, “Always pursue what is good for one another,” and “be at peace among yourselves” (1 Thessalonians 5: 13, 15).

How To Change Churches Successfully

I'll never forget the family I met at a neighboring church years ago while leading a Bible study. They were happy in their church, I thought, but several years later they presented themselves for membership in our church. The interesting thing is that there was another church in between, so ours was their third church in a short time.

Church growth researchers report that people are changing churches with greater frequency today. And "brand loyalty" is a thing of the past, too. I have an evangelist friend who used to lament people changing denominations--he preached, "it doesn't hurt to change labels on an empty bottle!" But these days it's often not a matter of theology. People seem to be more interested in youth and music programs than denominational affiliation.

When Christians leave a church for another it's called "transfer growth" as opposed to "conversion growth." Since thousands of Americans are unbelievers, enlisting them must be our primary task, though it may be a harder task. But there's nothing innately wrong with Christians changing churches if done thoughtfully and prayerfully. A good reason could be a change in residence putting them out of reasonable driving range. Another reason I’ve seen is change in circumstances, such as children leaving home or, regrettably, divorce, and starting over in a new place.

But there are bad reasons, too. I've known pastors who took pride in announcing their "capture" of those from other congregations. And I've known church members who "court" new folk by criticizing their present church.

These are certainly unworthy practices. Churches are partners and every church is important in the kingdom of God.

The fact is that sometimes people change churches due to hurt or anger, and their pastor may be unaware of this. Pastors can't read minds and want to know if there's an issue deserving attention.

Changing churches shouldn't be done due to brokenness without an attempt to solve the matter. After all, the new church, like the old, is made up of imperfect people--just like a marriage--and conflict is sure to appear in any relationship. Wise Christians seek to keep friendships intact.

A pastor friend told me about getting an email from a family stating they were leaving, and he was disappointed in this kind of casual communication from active leaders. I think church members who consider a new church should talk with their pastor first and offer explanation. A face-to-face conversation like this makes the move open and above-board and gives the current congregation opportunity to repair any brokenness incurred along the way.

If we change churches, we should have nothing but love, gratitude and goodwill for the one we leave behind.

Being Childlike But Not Childish

It’s interesting that scripture exhorts us both to be like children, and not to be like children.

I was always puzzled as a kindergartner by the picture we had in the church sanctuary where we had weekly chapel. It portrayed Jesus saying, “Suffer the little children to come unto me” (Mark 10:14). I thought “suffer” meant pain, so I wasn’t sure what this was about. Of course the King James Bible uses “suffer” in the sense of “allow,” and this is a great invitation from Jesus for children to come to him and be blessed.

Many evangelicals believe in child evangelism. Researcher George Barna found that 43 percent of “born again” Christians came to faith by age 12, and 64 percent by age 18.

Jesus proceeded in Mark’s gospel to insist that everyone must come to faith as children do: “Whoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein” (v. 15). Jesus referred to genuine humility and absolute trust. Children aren’t burdened with self-image in the way adults are.

Numbers of adults to whom I’ve spoken over the years resist declaring faith because of personal embarrassment over what others might think (though the congregation of God’s people would certainly rejoice in all conversions). Children most often don’t wrestle with pride as adults do.

But the scripture also exhorts Christians not to be childish (Ephesians 4:14). Children can be childish at times! Parents may have to break up fights when they hear, “Mommy, Sallie made a face at me,” or “Johnny hid my toy.”

Regrettably many of our churches have witnessed childish behavior over the years. I’ve known some who grew upset when someone allegedly “made at face” at them or when they didn’t get their choice of paint or carpet! Surely the kingdom of God is bigger than this.

Dr. John Killinger, formerly of Beeson Divinity School, in his book, “The Other Preacher in Lynchburg,” told the most amazing story I’ve heard in this regard.

A blue-blooded matriarch sent word that only sheep manure should be used on the church’s rose garden. Killinger said the scheduled business conference lasted two hours as the congregation discussed the virtue of sheep manure vs. cow manure. Oh, my. I’m not sure why someone didn’t respectfully say, whereas beautiful roses are nice, the grounds crew could handle this. And roses have nothing to do with our primary mission to serve a broken world. As Ron Lewis said years ago, “The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.”

There is a major difference is being childlike and childish. We need the wisdom of God to know the difference and live the difference.

Making An Uncertain Sound

I was delivering a Sunday night sermon years ago at the end of a long day. The congregation began laughing for no explicable reason, so I stopped and asked about this.

“You said we had ‘feets’ of clay,” someone said.

We all had a laugh, and then I bore down, “But we all DO have feets of clay!”

I guess everyone that evening was as Dave Barry says, “humor deprived,” so this minor slip seemed like a killer line from a stand-up comic.

I conducted a funeral lately and thought I put a larger-font copy of Romans 8 in my Bible. I said, “Hear the triumphant word of the Apostle Paul,” then I read from my notes a passage from the Old Testament prophet Isaiah about mounting up with wings as eagles. I was temporarily flummoxed by confusing the passages, but no one seemed to notice, or at least no one said anything about it afterward.

I suppose I should be grateful that, as far as I know, I’ve not made more major slips of the tongue in sermons—yet.

Proclaiming the word of God is a weighty responsibility that teachers and preachers don’t take lightly. Some teachers in our church tell me they do lesson preparation at home every night of the week.

A Southern Baptist statesmen a generation ago used to say he spent an hour in study for every minute he spoke from the pulpit. Though his commitment to truth was admirable, no pastor I know has time to do this. Pastors stay busy with visits, administration and unexpected crises, like funerals, and don’t have 30 hours or more for study each week. And most pastors preach or teach two or three times each week, so the math doesn’t compute.

Pastors do try hard to protect a certain amount of study time. If we don’t, other demands intrude, and study is neglected. I have friends who study late at night at home, and others who, like me, find the early morning hours most often uninterrupted. Some pastors have “hide-away” studies where they can “hole up” for sermon preparation, and some ask office staff to “hold” calls at certain hours. Everyone has to find their own way, I suppose.

Paul insisted the “trumpet must not make an uncertain sound” (1 Corinthians 14:8). Modern pastors strive to find truth and speak truth. They also try to make scripture understandable by using the most precise language possible, and the simplest.

If your pastor takes a slip of the tongue, or uses an unfamiliar word or two on occasion, please forgive him. Know that he or she is trying to faithfully communicate the word of life for the benefit of all.

Death Shows No Partiality

Visitors to the Little White House in Warm Springs, Ga., view a charming movie clip of President Franklin Roosevelt in one of the pools on the property. He’s throwing a beach ball and playing with children in the pool, who like him, were seeking relief from polio in the warm, mineral-laden waters of the community.

It’s baffling that most Americans didn’t know the president used a wheelchair. The late newsman David Brinkley said in his autobiography that White House press conferences used to be held in the Oval Office. The president sat at his desk to answer questions, and Brinkley said it never occurred to them to include in their reporting that the president used a wheelchair.

Today we know about goings-on in the Oval Office within months of a new administration since “tell-all” books are published quickly!

In the president’s home in Georgia one can see the “Unfinished Portrait” of FDR in the cabin’s living area.

Artist Elizabeth Shoumatoff sat with Roosevelt on April 12, 1945 to paint his portrait. The president complained of a “terrific headache” and decided to lie down. The small bedroom is modest—it doesn’t look like a bedroom of royalty. It’s wood paneled and the bed is a single twin bed. The president lay down on that bed and died.

Is there an opportune time for a president to die? No, but especially at that moment. Roosevelt was commander-in-chief of the American armed forces and the leader of the free world. World War II was winding down but wasn’t done yet. Hitler was on the ropes, but it would take another month before Nazi Germany surrendered. Hirohito was on the ropes, but it would take another four months before the Empire of Japan surrendered.

Furthermore, the president was overseeing a top-secret research program called “The Manhattan Project.” With the help of former German scientists, America was developing a new and deadly weapon called the atomic bomb. This project was so secret that Vice President Harry Truman knew nothing about it.

That afternoon first lady Eleanor Roosevelt summoned Truman to the White House in Washington and addressed him for the first time as “Mr. President.”

The “Unfinished Portrait” of FDR is a reminder that death shows no partiality.

The writer of the Epistle of Hebrews said, “It is appointed to men once to die, and after this the judgment” (Hebrews 9:27). Somewhere on God’s calendar is a “red letter” day as far as you and I are concerned. It’s the day we’ll step into eternity and meet our creator.

Realizing the frailty of life ought to motivate us to choose wisely today. Death often comes suddenly and unexpectedly, putting an end to all our tomorrows.

Watching One Another's Back

Gabriel Byrne portrayed Dr. Paul Weston, a therapist on the TV program “In Treatment.” I caught a few episodes several years ago when our cable company gave a preview, and later rented the series. I watched in rapt attention as Dr. Weston probed the issues and brought about breakthroughs for his patients.

But Paul was often clueless about himself. For example, his patient, Laura, was a temptress. Paul knew this, and knew he should refer her to another counselor, but he wouldn’t do so. And Paul and his wife, Kate, didn’t communicate. A little tenderness could perhaps have healed their marriage, but neither was willing to offer it.

Paul did have the good sense to talk with an old friend and therapist, Gina, who made an insightful comment.

“Paul,” she said, “we often see clearly the patterns in the lives of others but not our own.”

I’m quite sure this is true for us all.

I heard Dr. Jimmy Allen a number of years ago teach about the Christian solider Paul described in Ephesians 6: the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith and the sword of the spirit. Allen insisted this soldier was protected save in one area.

“This soldier is vulnerable to an attack from the rear,” he said. “He needs someone to watch his back.”

I thought about this lately when a woman asked me about an issue in her church. Her pastor is apparently a bit out of touch over a matter that has potential of becoming a larger issue.

The Ministering to Ministers Foundation has recommended for years that every pastor have a “feedback group” in his church. This is an informal group of three or four respected church members who know the pulse of the congregation. MTM says the pastor should bring this group together occasionally and ask, “How are things going? How am I doing?”

Of course it takes a confident pastor to submit to some of the possible judgments, but the pastor is wise if he listens to his leaders. They watch his back.

The pastor needs feedback, but the rest of us do, too.

One way we do this is with a support group. Ideally that’s what a Sunday School class is—a group of believers who love, support and pray for each other. Sometimes believers join their fellow church members at another time and in another place during the week for Bible study, sharing and prayer. Some do this with a group outside their own church.

We all need support in dealing with blind areas in our lives. We must have some folk who love us and tell us the truth, even when it’s painful. They watch our back.

When People Walk Away From Church

WHEN PEOPLE WALK AWAY FROM CHURCH

“Apostasy” isn’t a word my denomination uses much, probably because we don’t believe in it. Many evangelicals hold to the fifth tenet of John Calvin’s TULIP acronym that a genuinely converted person won’t lose salvation. But it’s true that we witness people who walk away from Christian commitment for various reasons.

I saw this for the first time as a teen-ager. Bobby and his wife were youth workers in another church, but their ministry touched young people in surrounding churches. Bobby worked with a relative who put me in contact with him as a youth speaker, so I was in his church several times for events. On one visit the pastor said, “I don’t know what’s wrong with Bobby. We’ve not seen him in weeks and he won’t tell me what’s wrong.”

A friend and I went to Bobby’s house and, indeed, he wouldn’t talk about it. His wife sat there in tears. We assured him of our love and prayers, but I don’t know how this experience worked out since I moved away to college shortly thereafter and never saw Bobby again.

I’ve seen similar situations in the ensuing years, and each one has been heartbreaking.

I’m convinced there can be a spiritual component to walk-aways. Some believe this is what Jesus’ disciples did in John 21 when they returned to fishing. Jesus came to the seashore and gently prodded them and their leader, Simon Peter, into rededication (John 21).

My experience has taught me that most often human relationships are a major factor in walk-aways.

Sometimes couples experience conflict. No marriage is perfect, and storms are sure to come. Wise spouses realize the value of their investment in each other. A pastor shocked a couple when he suggested their issues were beyond his expertise and they needed a professional who would charge a fee. They said they couldn’t afford a counselor.

“If you had cancer, could you afford treatment?” he asked.

He meant that a sick marriage, like a sick body, might need a professional with some costs involved.

Sometimes the walk-aways are in conflict with other church members. We’d like to think that congregational life is a slice of heaven, and it is in many ways. But just as in basketball, sometimes elbows are thrown intentionally or not, and people get hurt. The old church covenant has wise counsel: “to be slow to take offense, but always ready for reconciliation, and mindful of the rules of our Savior to secure it without delay.”

 I’ve always believed that sincere believers with a genuine love for God can find a path to reconciliation. The church is in the redemption business, and sometimes this means restoring walk-aways to useful service.

Being A Christian In The Restaurant

I stood there a bit speechless since it didn’t work out like I’d planned, though I suppose it made me look kind-hearted.

I paid the bill for my hamburger lunch and then gave the cashier a five-dollar bill.

“Can I have some dollars?” I asked.

She responded, “Who was your server?”

I pointed to the server, also behind the counter, and the cashier gave her the $5. The server quickly smiled and said “Thanks!”

I still don’t know how “Can I have some dollars?” became “Give this to my server,” and I didn’t know how tactfully to regroup and start over. So I left after giving a $5 tip for a $7 meal—something like a 70 percent tip.

Our son managed a restaurant for several years and used to instruct me on appropriate tipping. According to payscale.com, the average salary for a server is $6.87 an hour, though it’s my understanding this is a bit high for our area. I’ve heard that servers earn two or three dollars per hour and rely on tips to make up the rest of what they need. Certainly we need to remember this when dining out.

I had two students at the Christian college I was affiliated with who gave their final persuasive speeches in public speaking class on proper tipping. Both had been or were currently servers, and both shared their experience that Sunday lunch was the worst meal for tipping. I found this quite an indictment of the faith community. I mentioned this in another class as an example of choosing a speaking topic from an area of personal expertise, and had an interesting response from another student.

“Well, Christians give all their money to the church on Sunday morning and probably don’t have enough left to tip much,” she said.

I’m convinced neither assertion is correct.

Another area I’ve observed in restaurants is how badly some people treat their servers. I can’t say these are Christians, of course, but it’s disappointing how picky some diners become and how upset they get over minor issues. My mother always taught us to eat whatever was set before us and be grateful. I often think when observing rude conduct in restaurants that diners ought to remember that this isn’t their final meal before execution at the state penitentiary! They’ll eat again the next day and probably won’t remember whatever irritated them the day before.

Part of Christian discipleship is treating everyone with kindness as good representatives of our graceful savior. I’ve often said how we treat others is the acid test of our faith. We should be kind to those who serve us food, though we may not need to tip 70 percent.

An Appeal To Cellphone Courtesy

I accepted a lunch invitation from a community organization and was happy to meet some new businessmen and women in the area. The day’s speaker was interesting and fun and most of us learned some new things, except several gentlemen at our table. They not only stayed on their cellphones throughout the lecture, but they whispered to one another the entire time. The matter didn’t seem to be urgent since they joked amongst themselves. I thought how strange that these members weren’t supportive of their organization and might as well not have been there at all.

I suppose common courtesy isn’t so common anymore, especially in the era of cellphones. The stats say more than 90 percent of American adults have one, and the Pew Research Center asserts the cellphone is the fastest most adopted device in history. I understand the advantages, of course. I remember years ago collecting three or four telephone numbers for hotels and conference centers where I might be reached by the deacon chairman if needed. This seems so archaic now since we’re never far from contact.

But I also lament that many appear to be conversant on cellphones but not with each other. How often do we see families in restaurants with each person on their phones instead of talking together?

Teachers frequently fight this battle in the classroom. Some schools have strict policies, but others leave discretion to the instructor. Nevertheless, some students can’t seem to function without device in hand.

A teacher told me of two disruptive students who she eventually confronted. They admitted they were texting each other during her lecture about what their weekend plans were. She told them they were wasting their parents’ money in a college classroom since they weren’t learning or preparing for a career.

We face the same kind of issue in the churches. Many follow the day’s scripture text on Bible aps, and this is fine. But others, I’m told, apparently choose to text and surf and ignore scriptural truth shared from the pulpit.

 We had a different manifestation a few years back when pastors commonly included notes in the weekly bulletin with spaces for key words. One lady said to me, “My pastor thinks I’m taking sermon notes, but I’m really making my shopping list!” I was surprised by her admission and by her levity, and I couldn’t help but think she was treating her spiritual life very casually.

 It’s a courtesy to pay attention to anyone presenting helpful information. This is uniquely true in the churches where ministers work hard to share life-changing truth each week. Choosing to ignore God’s word is not only discourteous, but a bad life decision.

Making Things Right

I was invited to offer the invocation on the beginning day of the Alabama legislative session in March thanks to a young lady from our church who works for Speaker of the House Mac McCutcheon. It was my first time in the chamber, and it was a great experience. Before returning home, I stopped to say hello to political consultant David Azbell whom I met years ago in a political items collectors group. David’s office is an impressive museum and he has some interesting stories to tell!

I saw a picture on his wall and asked him to tell me more about it.

Vivian Malone was one of two African American students who wished to enroll at the University of Alabama in 1963. Gov. George C. Wallace fulfilled his campaign promise to “stand in the schoolhouse door” if necessary to prevent this. The governor, along with the majority of Alabamians in the day, supported segregation. The president federalized the Alabama National Guard who asked Wallace to step aside. Both students enrolled later in the day. Malone transferred as a junior and became the first student of color to graduate from UA in 1965.

Fast forward to 1996. Former Gov. Wallace invited Malone to Montgomery to receive the Lurleen B. Wallace Award of Courage as “a woman who, through her actions, changed Alabama for the better.” David said the two were prevented by court order from conversing in 1963, so this was the first time they’d met. It was a cordial meeting. The governor apologized for the events of 1963. Malone said his earlier public apologies sufficed. She returned two years later to attend Wallace’s state funeral.

At the time David served as Wallace’s personal assistant, so he was eyewitness to the conclusion of a lingering chapter in Alabama civil rights history.

David also shared another interesting story.

While cataloguing the governor’s papers, he found a letter Wallace had written to his would-be assassin Arthur Bremer. Bremer had designs to kill a politician and first fixated on Richard Nixon. Somehow, he decided to target Wallace. Bremer shot four people, all of whom survived, though Wallace was paralyzed.

David said he immediately drove to Wallace’s home to ask about the letter. The governor said it was a private letter and he never made it public. In it, Wallace assured Bremer of his forgiveness and prayers for redemption in Christ.

Perhaps Wallace knew his life was nearly done and wanted to make amends. In this regard he remains a good example. We’re all transients on earth, and as Emerson said, we need to “keep our friendships in repair.”

And it’s a mark of God’s grace to reach out to former foes as well.

Living Responsibly In The Kingdom Of God

I taught recently in our church about the concept of Christian liberty vs. Christian responsibility. The Apostle Paul introduced the idea in 1 Corinthians when he wrote about meat having been offered to idols. After its use in pagan worship the meat was discounted and sold in the marketplace. Some early Christians purchased and consumed it while others believed the practice respected paganism.

Paul argued that idols are nothing and, therefore, the meat was offered to nothing. And he said, “Food will not bring us close to God” (1 Corinthians 8: 8). If food did bring us close to God, we’d all eat angel food cake! But he also taught we have a responsibility to care for brothers and sisters in the faith who may have an issue with idol meat: “If food causes my brother or sister to fall, I will never again eat meat” (v. 13).

A social media site proposed a question lately about Christians and alcohol. I responded that alcohol may be one of the issues in this mix. Perhaps I have liberty to drink, but I don’t want to harm others who might become problem drinkers through my example.

I engaged in some back-and-forth through cyberspace with a young man who disagreed. He asked if I’d give up sugar if my use of sugar caused a diabetic to stumble. I think I’d be better off giving up sugar, though it would be hard since many of our foods contain at least traces of it. Accordingly, diabetics do consume sugar, and insulin.

I responded if this was a genuine spiritual issue, I’d have to consider sugar-abstinence.

Then I gave him two real examples. A Christian school I’ve been affiliated with forbids employees to drink, and the church I attend forbids deacons to drink. So, obviously, here are two organizations for whom the matter of influence includes alcohol.

Certainly I’m aware of other Christian groups for whom alcohol is not an issue, but for most Baptist churches it is. I can’t imagine this young man having much of a future in Baptist church leadership if he continues to flaunt beer and cigars!

I’ve never been a drinker; I often joke I get into enough trouble being sober. But the matter of idol meat is thought-provoking. Though Christ has freed us from legalism (Galatians 5:1), our choices must be carefully weighed as we consider the measure of our influence.

The late Dr. Frank Stagg taught there are several “polarities” in humanity’s existence. For example, salvation is “gift” but also “demand” since an obedient life is required. And, he suggested, Christians are “free,” yet “bound.” We’re free to use discernment, but also bound to our Christian family in love.

Gossip Vs. Grace

He was a pastor and quite a raconteur who entertained audiences with good stories and humor. He was also known for his hand-written letters in the days before texting and email overtook pen and paper. I received a chatty letter or two after hosting him at an event in our church. But I remember one letter he sent that bothered me.

Another pastor was accused of a crime, but not charged by local authorities. He remained at his church for a while but eventually stepped aside. The letter-writing pastor sent me a photocopied letter addressed to “My Friend,” so obviously I was one of at least two or more who received it. He described details of the alleged crime and what he was hearing from people in that church. Though I understood the men were friends, the letter was more gossip than grace.

I thought about this lately when a pastor I know fell into some difficulty. My first reaction was curiosity. What happened? Then I heard the better angels of my nature declaring it wasn’t my concern, and that I should call to express love and offer help, which I did.

I know we often tread a fine line between concern and gossip in our congregations. I’ve been in many prayer meetings that delved into diagnoses—what the doctors said, and relationships—who was related to who. I remember one prayer meeting where I quickly lost leadership and stood there bewildered as the church member requesting prayer for another explained who the man’s cousins were naturally and through two marriages!

I suppose it would be helpful to have some kind of HIPAA law in the church so this kind of thing wouldn’t happen. We really don’t need to know all the details about sickness and sin to pray for someone. We believe God knows all the details already. He only wants us to bring our concerns to him and to be merciful to others.

I’ll always remember a better example while a student at Southern Seminary in Louisville. Dr. Henlee Barnett was teaching our Christian Ethics class one day about relating to God and country. He cited a radio preacher known for his strong pro-America stance who had criticized Dr. Barnette. Our professor read some news clippings to us about this from a file. A student raised his hand to announce he’d just picked up his copy of a national news magazine in the post office, and there was a story about this broadcaster being investigated for inappropriate relationships.

Without asking for more details, Dr. Barnette said, “Well, I forgive him. He has troubles enough now.”

Dr. Barnett showed us in this unique way what Christian grace really is.

Forgiving Others

I was in college and conducting a youth revival in an Anniston-area church. The protestant chaplain at Ft. McClellan was a member of the church, and he'd asked the pastor to conduct the Sunday morning base service in his absence. The pastor invited me to accompany him and to read scripture in the service. After I'd finished, a female officer whispered to me, "Pastor, you're supposed to lead us in the Lord's Prayer at this time." I panicked, not sure if I'd remember it! Fortunately after I began the congregants joined in and completed the prayer.

I'm ashamed of this now, but I wasn't taught the Lord's Prayer as a child. I don't remember our church using it. I remember memorizing the books of the Bible in VBS but I never had instruction on the Lord's Prayer.

The Lord's Prayer is a prayer for the community of faith. Plural pronouns, such as "we," "us" and "our," are used nine times. It's a prayer we can share. It's also true that liturgy--the word used to describe the elements of worship--literally means "the work of the people." Too often worship is a spectator sport in which we're content to let one or two do the work. In addition to singing together, the church can pray the Lord's Prayer together as worship participation.

The prayer is divided into three sections. The first is three petitions directed to God. The second section--the fourth petition--is a prayer for the things we need in life. The third section has to do with our spiritual lives.

It's striking that after the final "amen" Jesus added a footnote to the prayer. In Matthew 6: 14-15 he said, "Your heavenly Father will forgive you if you forgive those who sin against you, but if you refuse to forgive them, he will not forgive you."

We learned a significant lesson in forgiveness a few summers ago. A 21-year-old named Dylan Roof entered the Emmanuel AME Church in Charleston and sat through a portion of the church's prayer meeting. Then he stood and began firing his handgun, striking 10 people and killing nine. Investigations found that he, like Charles Manson before him, wanted to start a race war. But a matter of race became a matter of grace. Families of survivors began to speak publicly about their forgiveness for Roof. The headline in the New York Daily News was succinct: "We forgive you; hate won't win."

Very few of us find ourselves in this kind of unique situation, and it makes the grudges and animosities we hold seem so trivial by comparison.

What would happen if we took Jesus's prayer footnote seriously and began to forgive others?

On Regrets

A mentor when I was younger insisted Monday was a good day for pastors since the pressure of the upcoming Sunday hadn’t yet settled in. He was in the minority because many pastors joke about Mondays being “resignation day.” They feel badly about the day before and drag in on Monday with discouragement. Another pastor I knew did reverse psychology. He had staff meetings at 8 a.m. on Monday morning so his compatriots wouldn’t drag in!

I drug in a few Mondays ago distraught over my sermon the day before. It didn’t flow like I’d planned, so I took time to re-do it before filing notes away. Of course, I won’t get to reuse it in my present ministry station, since some people write these things in their Bibles, but I couldn’t bear to save it without reorganization.

The Greek philosopher Aristotle taught principles of rhetoric--the “Aristotelian proofs”--and we still use these to teach public speaking. One of his three key principles was “logos.” He meant that a speaker’s research, organization and word choice in large measure made one effective or not. A presentation needs to be easy to “track,” as millennials say.

I thought about recalling our congregation for a sermon re-do. However, another Greek, Heraclitus, famously said “no man steps into the same river twice.” Life moves on and we’ll never have the same moment again. By the way, this is one of the primary motivations for making good use of every opportunity since opportunities are temporary.

I began to think about how many times I wish I might stage a personal intervention and re-do something.

I’ve said things I shouldn’t have said. Most often when I’ve given someone a piece of my mind, I regretted it later.

I had an office assistant once who dared ask if I really wanted to mail a letter of reprimand to a neighboring pastor who had insulted our church. I did mail it, but I should’ve listened to her superior wisdom and refused to get in the mud with him.

And I’ve done things I shouldn’t have done. As TV’s Jesse Stone said, “You know, you live long enough, you have regrets. And the ones that nag at you the most are the ones where you knew you had a choice. The ones where you knew you could have stopped yourself. The ones where you looked into the mirror and everything good inside you said, 'Don't do this.'"

 None of us can completely undo the wrong we’ve done in the past. But it’s possible to grow in wisdom and in relationships. We can humbly repent before God, and we can make peace with those we hurt along the way.

The Joy Of Stuff

I read the story in "The Christian Century" some time ago. The author and her husband held three teacups in their hands after the husband's mother downsized and moved to a smaller apartment. The couple talked about which items to keep or to discard in a home that was already full of things. The question they asked about each item was, "Does this item spark joy?"

The writer said she got this concept from Marie Kondo who's written extensively about de-cluttering one's life. Kondo says that if an item doesn't “spark joy” it should be sold or given to another person for whom it would bring pleasure. An interesting corollary to this philosophy is that Kondo even suggests we talk to the item we're about to discard, thank it for the joy it brought and wish it well in its new place!

I'm not sure our friends would consider us sane if they came to our home and found us talking to the drapery and the silverware, but the basic premise is a good one. We express thanks for the things that bring joy to our lives.

I read the Apostle Paul's words with new appreciation this week: "Let [us] place confidence in God, who lavishly provides us with everything for our enjoyment" (1 Timothy 6:17).

The above-cited verse is addressed to "the rich." Though some might deny this descriptor, all of us are rich. By the grace of God we're Americans living in a land of plenty. The Global Village at Habitat for Humanity's International Headquarters in Americus, Ga. has actual housing from the third world--housing we wouldn't use for our dogs or lawnmowers in America. We are all blessed.

And scripture affirms the concept that God is a lavish giver of things. He's not a killjoy; he wants us to enjoy possessions. Accordingly, some find joy in coins or stamps, salt shakers or ceramic frogs, political items or books. These things spark joy. And part of our reason for worship is to thank God for the joy we find in things.

But scripture also affirms that we should handle things responsibly by remembering the needs of others around us. The Bible pointedly asserts that if we have goods and see a brother without goods and don't share, the love of God doesn’t live in our hearts (1 John 3:17).

Ultimately we'll stand before God to give account of our use of every opportunity and every possession. John the revelator said both "small and great" will stand before the Lord of the universe. The small is you and me. The great is the Kennedys, the Rockefellers, Bezos and Gates.

God will hold us accountable for how we handled things.

Call Your Mother

An ABC tribute to Gilda Radner some time ago reminded me of the number of people we’ve lost in the last few years who made us laugh: John Belushi, John Candy, Phil Hartman, Bob Hope, Grady Nutt, Robin Williams, Rodney Dangerfield, Jerry Clower and others.

Humor has great value. Solomon said laughter is medicine for the soul (Proverbs 17:22), and sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is to have a good laugh.

Lincoln, a man who suffered depression or "melancholia" as it was called in those days, talked about the value of humor in the stressful days of the Civil War.

“With the fearful strain that is on me," he said, "if I did not laugh, I would die.”

Lewis Grizzard was a great Southern humorist. But, occasionally, he stepped aside from humor and made some pretty astute observations about life. He did this, I believe, in one of his books entitled, “Call Your Mama—I Wish I Could Call Mine.”

Me too, Lewis.

I guess I thought my mother would live forever. She was a constant in the changes of my life.  But there came that terrible December in 1993 when our family had gathered for Christmas and she was so sick she couldn’t function. I thought maybe she'd worked too hard preparing the house and the meal, but she lay down on the couch and didn't have energy to get up. My wife and sister forcibly took her to the local hospital. An X-ray turned up something ominous, and the doctor thought she needed to go to a larger hospital for tests.

The Monday following Christmas the doctors at Birmingham’s St. Vincent’s Hospital confirmed the dread diagnosis: cancer. In seven weeks she was gone. 

Those were weeks of trial as my siblings and I scheduled time to be with her and take care of things. One of the most stressful rites of passage is caring for aging and dying parents. In addition to the shock of impending loss there's the demands of everyday tasks that must be done.

I read something recently about the trauma we experience when our mothers die. Mothers, the article stated, represent unconditional love, and we're often unprepared for a world in which no one else seems to fill that significant role.

God knew what he was doing when he invented the family and put mothers in them. She is the family's heart, civilizing us and teaching us to care. Mothers fill a niche no one else can. They love us and are proud of us no matter what.

May 12 is Mother’s Day. 

Be sure to call your mother. 

I wish I could call mine.

Pray For America

May 2 is the National Day of Prayer when we pause to thank God for our nation, seek forgiveness for our sins and ask his guidance in the future.

There were at least two major proclamations before the event was formalized. The Continental Congress called the colonies to pray in 1775, and President Lincoln asked the nation to pray in 1863. Our modern observance was created in 1952 under President Truman and amended under President Reagan in 1988 to fall on the first Thursday in May. Every president since 1952 has signed a National Day of Prayer proclamation.

Some Christians have expressed their unease when the government calls for prayer, but, in reality, Christians asked the government only to recognize this day, not to mandate it.

It’s true that religion and politics have a testy relationship. Jon Ward wrote “Camelot’s End,”  a book about the Kennedy challenge to the Carter reelection campaign in 1980. The book reminded me of the John and Robert Kennedy tragedies, how Sen. Ted Kennedy wrestled with the lingering questions from the Chappaquiddick episode of 1969 and how America reacted to the former governor of Georgia, a Baptist deacon, declaring he’d been “born again.” A majority of evangelical voters supported Gov. Carter in ’76 but turned to Gov. Ronald Reagan in 1980.

We had another uneasy time in the ’90s when President Clinton was embroiled in moral crisis. I told our church at the time that Christians condemn this conduct while we pray for our president. I recall a member of our church taking me to task for “mixing politics and religion”! I never could get him to understand we were speaking about different issues.

We all have political opinions, But whether one is Democrat or Republican, we’re exhorted to pray for “kings and all those in authority over us” (1 Timothy 2:2).

For what should we pray?

First, we pray for peace. The most demanding role of the president is commander-in-chief. The nuclear codes are always nearby in a briefcase euphemistically called “the football.” Armageddon can begin in half an hour. Perhaps this is the reason our presidents seem to age so markedly in office.

Chaos prevents the church from evangelizing and serving in an optimal manner. A society of peace is the best environment for the church to do her work.

Second, we pray for wisdom for those who lead. We ask that all our elected officials seek God’s leadership, turn from graft and serve the people who elected them.

And we pray wisdom for all citizens as we approach a significant election in 2020. We need God’s direction as we vote.

I hope everyone will schedule time this week to pray for America.

On Finishing In Second Place

I found former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie’s book at our local library recently and enjoyed reading about his life and service. I heard the governor speak in 2012 and know him to be a commanding figure in person. He didn’t hold back in his book, either!

Christie told about his rise from federal prosecutor to governor, flirting with national office and the two issues he dealt with in his final term that torpedoed his popularity: Bridgegate and Beachgate. In the former, he explained that the investigation drug on for two years but cleared him of all charges. And he described the latter as a news media publicity stunt. Christie and his family were photographed by helicopter on a state beach during a time of state government shut-down. Thus, the public accused him of privilege. Christie explained that the public beaches were open, though the state beaches weren’t, and that the beach he was on always had a one-mile perimeter protected by New Jersey security.

I guess I’d overlooked the drama in 2016 as the soon-to-be-nominee Donald Trump determined who his running-mate would be. It came down to two: Christie and Gov. Mike Pence of Indiana. Christie said Trump offered him another government post, but Christie only had interest in the so-called “veep-stakes” or Attorney General. He walked away with neither since Trump had already offered the justice spot to Sen Jeff Sessions.

This story reminded me that life often comes down to two choices. Most of us have had the distinction of finishing in second place every now and again.

Sometimes we fall short in job interviews or promotions. I remember a department director in state government telling me this years ago, insisting that they had to hire a female. My being a stepping stone for female advancement didn’t make me feel any better! And we take little comfort in being number two in athletic competitions, even though our team may have defeated a dozen or more in the process of becoming number two--as with Alabama football or Auburn basketball this year.

As followers of Christ we know we’re always number two! We’re called to be God’s servants, and the servant’s desires are always subject to the master’s desires. We subjugate our goals to his, and this process is never-ending. As the Apostle Paul wrote, “I die daily” (1 Corinthians 15:31).

And along the way we have to learn to pick ourselves up and press forward in those days when we fall short of some objective. King Solomon wrote, “For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again” (Proverbs 24:16).

The God who created us rejoices in our success and sympathizes in our failure.