God's Word Is Clear On Choosing A Mate

The Bible exhorts a believer not to marry outside the faith. This doesn't have anything to do with denominations--our Baptist daughter married a Presbyterian and is active with her husband in their church. But the prohibition does mean children of God are to marry other children of God.

Moses cautioned the Hebrews when they approached the Jordan that they weren't to enter the Promised Land and take Canaanite wives (Deuteronomy 7). The Canaanites were morally corrupt and worshipped false gods. In the view of ancient Israel, they were like a contagion that might infect God's people and make them spiritually sick; thus Israel needed to stay away from them. Two Hebrew leaders--Ahab and Samson--did marry Canaanites, and they failed miserably in their spiritual mission. The names of their wives are synonymous with evil: Jezebel and Delilah.

My eighth-grade teacher used to say, "The best thing in the world is a good girl, and the worst thing in the world is a bad girl." I always thought this was unique to her until I read Proverbs 5 and Proverbs 31. The latter chapter tells us about the godly woman whose husband and children rise up to bless her as a woman of virtue. However, the woman in Proverbs 5 is a cunning woman lying in wait for some unsuspecting man to ensnare and ruin. And it's true that these words aren't really gender-specific since men can be the culprit, too.

The New Testament is equally clear. The Apostle Paul wrote, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers" (2 Corinthians 6:14).

I've had many young people tell me their unbelieving fiancés promised to join them in church after they married, and have seen many of these promises die a slow death.

She was raised in a Baptist church and also attended a local Pentecostal church as a child. She began performing at age 11 in the junior gospel choir at New Hope Baptist Church in Newark, NJ. Her first solo performance was "Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah." As a teenager she attended Mt. Saint Dominic Academy, a Catholic school in Caldwell, NJ.

Whitney Houston had the voice of a generation. She sold millions of records and had a flourishing film career.

But Houston married a Canaanite. This woman, influenced by three Christian churches as a child, saw her life take a downturn. She died at age 48 after drowning in her bathtub. Toxicology found marijuana, Xanax, Flexeril, Benadryl and cocaine in her system. But the tragedy continued when her 22 year-old-daughter died earlier this year in a remarkably similar way: drowning with drugs in her system.

Not every case is this dramatic, but God's warning must be heeded.

Senior Saints

King Solomon as an older man gave a stern warning: "Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them" (Ecclesiastes 12:1).

Solomon was despondent. His body was weary and he carried the burden of a failed mission. He made poor decisions as a younger man that ruined his testimony later on. It seemed smart to marry into the families of other kings, thus ensuring peace, but the he allowed his perspective to change when he began to worship the pagan gods his wives brought along.

Gail Sheehy in "Passages" wrote about predictable crises, and getting older is one of them. The average lifespan in America is 79. According to the Social Security Administration, a man 65 today can expect to reach 84, and a women 65 today can expect to live to be 86.

The scripture insists old age is one of God's gifts. Solomon wrote in another place, "The glory of the young is their strength; the gray hair of experience is the splendor of the old."

Every day is a gift from God, and the accumulation of days, months and years is the cumulative gift of God. Therefore we should live as people of gratitude. The alternative is to become grumpy old men or fussy old women!

Victor Frankl spent time in several Nazi concentration camps where his wife, mother and brother died. He survived and wrote about his experiences in "Man's Search for Meaning." Frankl argued that everyone has freedom to choose their attitudes, and these attitudes determine our survivability and the caliber of our lives. "When we are no longer able to change a situation," he wrote, "we are challenged to change ourselves."

Seniors can determine to stay active and serve the Lord and his church. Some seniors hide behind the excuse, "I've served my time," thus denying themselves the fulfillment of helping in the Lord's work. Throughout my ministry I've been helped especially by a number of senior men whose counsel I sought regularly. The mistakes I made came in large measure when I didn't seek their advice.

John D. Rockefeller was a billionaire by age 53 when he succumbed to a mysterious disease. His body shriveled and his doctor said he had a year to live. Rockefeller met Christ and joined a Baptist church where he served as trustee, clerk, Sunday School teacher and sometimes custodian! He then determined to give away his fortune and gave more than one-half billion dollars before his death at age 97. Christ made a difference in his life, and seniors today can know this, too.

The Dangers of Mid-Life

Gail Sheehy in her 1974 best-seller "Passages" told of the predictable crises of life. One of those is mid-life, defined by "Psychology Today" as between the ages of 40 and 60. Elliot Jaques coined the phrase "mid-life crisis" in 1965 and we've commonly adopted his phrase as a descriptor of the aberrant behavior so many display.

The key stressors include aging parents and the death of parents, illnesses suggesting our own mortality, job issues and marital strife. Montgomery counselor Don Hill told of a mid-life counselee who came in and announced to his wife he'd quit his job and bought a farm. "A farm!" she exclaimed. "You've never been on a farm. What are you talking about?"

I suppose this was the plot for the old sitcom "Green Acres"!

David's sin with Bathsheba may be largely understood as a mid-life crisis. Nothing is said about his father or brothers, so David may've had no family support. Did he fear he was getting old? Was he like Alexander the Great who wept when there were no more challenges in life? Or was it the thrill of doing something daring and dangerous?

Whatever the case, he lusted after another man's wife and had relations with her. When she announced her pregnancy he was even more sinister. He summoned her husband from the war and tried to convince him to be father to the king's son. When Uriah failed to cooperate, the king sent him back to battle with a note to the general. Uriah carried his own death warrant.

God sent the prophet Nathan to confront David in his sin. To his credit, David immediately owned up to his wrong and begged God's forgiveness.

President Clinton visited Nelson Mandela in South Africa just after Clinton's impeachment. Mandela told him, "The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."

Think about some well-known people who fell to rise again.

Charles Colson went to prison for his Watergate crimes, and left his heart there. He developed new compassion for inmates and founded Prison Fellowship to encourage them in prison and prevent recidivism after prison.

Jim Bakker ran a multi-million dollar TV network when he was sent to prison for six years. There he did the most menial of tasks: scrubbing toilets. But he rose and preaches on TV every day.

Pastor and writer Gordon McDonald failed in his marriage, but repented. His books such as "Rebuilding Your Broken World" have encouraged thousands.

The bad news is that you will stumble. You will fall. You will disappoint yourself and others.

The good news is that God is merciful. He will be your partner in rebuilding life.

On Being Gracious To Those Who Differ

I heard about a presumably wealthy Texas cattle ranch owner who boasted about his holdings. When asked how he got such a big ranch, he replied that he bought up a bunch of smaller ranches and made them into one bigger ranch. He said he kept the names and made the new ranch a composite of them all. Thus he owned the "Lazy J Rolling S Mighty Texas Bar Seven Triple L Buffalo Nickel" cattle ranch.

"Well, how many head of cattle do you own?" his friend asked.

"Only seven," he replied. "I had a lot more but most of 'em didn't survive the branding!"

I often remember this story as we approach football season and see how some fans take something that's supposed to be fun and turn it into a shouting match with friends and acquaintances. One friend told me they had an "Alabama/Auburn" night at their summer revival and it turned into a disaster! Apparently people focused on the red and orange more than they focused on repentance.

One pastor customarily cautioned people on the Sunday before the Iron Bowl to be kind to one another on the Sunday following. It would seem this would be unnecessary to say, but I've followed suit and usually say this myself come November.

This fall is fraught with another peril since it's election season. Candidates on both sides have said regrettable things, and some who support them have said some regrettable things, too. I just returned from a political items collectors convention where my conservatism was a target of some barbed comments, so I had to simply smile sweetly and press on.

I suppose the world will always be full of conflict, but it's very regrettable when this kind of division creeps into the church.

We lived in another county years ago. A local church, St. John's Baptist Church, got unwanted publicity when several public brawls broke out in the congregation and were reported in the local press. A new pastor came who chided his people somewhat sternly that if they were named for the Apostle John, the apostle of love, they must live like it.

John wrote, "We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death" (1 John 3: 14).

And John recorded the lord of the church himself who said, "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you" (John 15: 12).

Everyone has their football favorites and a political party they support. This is America and we have freedom to do so. But let's remember we're Americans first. And Christians most of all.

Deliver Us From Evil

The 15th anniversary of 9/11 brought back many memories. All of us who remember that day recall where we were and how we heard about the attack. And our lives will be forever different.

When tragedy occurs, we see the worst of humanity and the best of humanity. Christians around the nation rushed to the stricken city to help. One of those was police chaplain Tim Storey of Alabaster who was part of a team sent to encourage fellow police officers some six months after 9/11.

Officer Storey showed some pictures at our church from his visit. One was from a fire station where 30 officers had been lost. Their comrades posted a memorial that read, "No farewell words were spoken, no time to say goodbye. You were gone before we knew it, and only God knows why."

The presence of evil is one of the great mysteries in scripture where we find a three-way tension between Satan and demons, the sovereignty of God and human will. The Bible affirms that Satan is the author of evil, to be sure. The comedian Flip Wilson made famous the phrase, "the devil made me do it," but I don't see any evidence that Satan forces us to choose evil. The truth may be that "I made me do it."

The second part of this equation is the toughest. Scripture affirms God is in control and holds all power in his hands. But why would God allow errant jetliners to crash into buildings? We don't know. The firefighter memorial is true, "only God knows why."

For some reason God allowed evil men the freedom to choose an evil course. One of my seminary teachers, the late Frank Stagg, suggested that one way to understand the wrath of God is his determination to let sin run its course. In other words, God steps aside and lets the full weight of our wrong decisions impact our lives and the lives of others.

Whatever the causes of evil, Christians have an obligation to roll up their sleeves and help others. To quote Flip Wilson again, he once identified his religion. "I'm a Jehovah's by-stander," he said! Jehovah has some by-standers, but they're living outside his will. God's people don't stand idly by. As Dr. Leo Eddleman of the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary noted years ago, the nearest pocket of need is a mission field, and the nearest Christian is a missionary.

We don’t know all the reasons 9/11 occurred, but we can celebrate the heroes of 9/11: a host of fire fighters and police officers and followers of Christ who unselfishly rushed in to help others in need.

Pastors, On The Whole, Enjoy Their Work

"The Aquila Report" published a story by David Briggs this month giving some interesting updates on the American pastor.

More than six in ten clergy members say they're very happy in their work, which is double the response of other American workers. It's sad that four in ten aren't fulfilled in their work, but sadder still that the majority of American workers aren't fulfilled. I can't say that I've ever had a job I hated, but it must be tough to get up every day and go to a place we don't want to go.

Ministers are being paid more, too. The study found that the "clergy wage disadvantage" in 1983 was $12 per hour; now it's about $9 per hour. This means ministers are paid less than comparable professionals but the gap has narrowed.

And in 1976, 61 percent of ministers lived in church-owned housing; now only 14 percent do. This is a welcomed trend since home-owning gives ministers some financial security and makes for longer tenure in their churches.

Another part of the study found that ministers are balancing work and family more effectively. An old study in 1934 found clergy worked 76 hours each week. By 1979 the average work week was 52 hours; now it's 43 hours per week.

I do remember with appreciation the tutelage I had from the late Dotson Nelson who was my field supervisor in my doctoral program. We had a time-study project and he remarked that a minister probably should work 60 hours each week in order to be effective. I've found his counsel accurate, though most ministers struggle at balancing work with family and vacation time.

Ministers wrestle with parts of their jobs, but on the whole, they'll grateful for the privilege of serving in vocational ministry. I remember an old movie about the life of Babe Ruth in which the character was surprised he could play baseball and be paid for it. I don't know if this is true, but ministers generally echo this attitude.

With Ministers Appreciation Month coming up in October, it's a good time to let your minister know your love for him or her.

Someone came up with a tongue-in-cheek list for those who want to get rid of their minister.

1. Pay him a living wage. He'll probably eat himself to death.

2. Pat him on the back and tell him what a good job he's doing. He'll work himself to death.

3. Tell him you're giving him a trip to Hawaii for his church anniversary. He'll probably have a heart attack.

4. Unite the church in prayer for him. He'll become so effective some large church will take him off your hands.

Scripts in our Heads

My daughter sent out an appeal. Her oldest son wanted to go to the Alabama Theatre and see "Jaws." I and my son volunteered, but not without my first expressing caution.

"He's only 10," I said. "Are you sure you want him to see this movie?"

"Yes," she said. "It might make him more cautious when we're at the beach!"

We enjoyed our guys outing, and I was impressed with the theatre. It had been many years since I attended something there, and its classic design and the "Mighty Wurlitzer" organ were wonderful. And it was fun seeing the old film on big screen again.

The trip reminded me of a woman I knew in north Alabama who said she hummed the Jaws theme when her children were on the beach since she wanted to caution them about getting too far away!

I suppose we all hear John Williams' classic movie theme and the bass fiddle in our mind when we think of sharks.

But that's not the only thing we hear in our minds. Research shows we store a lot of things there, including self-perception, or who we think ourselves to be.

I met Dr. John Howell a number of years ago and told him of my appreciation for a book he'd written on marriage. In the book he told about a counselee who grew up feeling worthless. In therapy she revealed her father's most-often spoken words to her were, "You're stupid." She grew up feeling that she was.

Whereas it's hard to imagine a father saying this kind of thing, it's true we all remember the words of others. Sometimes they used words of affirmation that made us feel better about ourselves, and sometimes they spoke thoughtless words that made us feel degraded.

Solomon wrote in Proverbs 18:21, "The tongue has the power of life and death." And the New Testament writer James insisted that just as a small rudder steers a large ship, so the tongue controls the course of our lives (James 3:4).

Followers of Christ must do all we can to avoid devaluing others with our words, and to use our words instead to add value to others. We see this when parents affirm children for their work. Their work may have been of little value, but the parent says, "Thank you for helping me! You're such a good helper!" This kind of affirmation makes the child feel valuable and needed, and gives incentive for him or her to try even harder.

We all have scripts in our heads that others put there. We can't do much about them, but we are in charge of the scripts we put in the minds of others.

On Seeking Truth

Some gremlins came to church last week. The projector didn't work and the soloist's microphone didn't work, either. Oh, my. I felt sympathy for the soloist since there but for the grace of God go I. Public speakers are, in large venues, almost entirely dependent on sound operators.

For many years Winston was our sound operator in a former church. He loved the Lord and was faithful, but he was almost deaf since he was a weaver in the Fairfax mill before hearing protection was required. Sometimes the system would squawk or squeal and I'd look back at Winston who just smiled back, unaware of what the rest of us heard.

I remember an episode of the Andy Griffith show in which Deputy Fife wanted to sing a solo in the town's spring production. Sheriff Taylor was able to turn off Barney's mike and have Gomer sing off-stage. Barney brought the house down with his wonderful solo!

I suppose one way to silence a speaker is to turn off the microphone. But there's another way.

Research demonstrates a phenomenon known as "confirmation bias." According to a Stanford University study this occurs when a person is confronted with facts proving a belief is wrong. Instead of changing their mind, a person can disregard the proof and harden their false belief. Thus confirmation bias has occurred. A similar study at Emory University found that a majority will give greater weight to a weak argument supporting their views than to a stronger argument refuting their views!

We did an exercise at Auburn many years ago, based on NASA training, that I've continued to use in classrooms ever since. The scenario supposes a crash on the moon, and survivors must salvage what supplies they can and make it back to the mother ship. Participants in the exercise number the items in order of importance and their responses are scored. Then participants are grouped and work on the exercise together. Without exception the group exercise is more accurate than the individual exercises.

The "moon walk" exercise demonstrates the value of group experience. Groups working together can make better decisions, more accurate decisions and foster ownership of an issue. Thus churches have committees or teams and industry has task groups for good reason. We do better work when we include others and learn from them.

The New Testament writer James exhorted his readers, "Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry" (James 1:19, NLT).

Wise people listen to one another and learn from one another. And when confronted with the facts, they change their mind and their actions to correspond with the truth.

The Good and the Bade Side of Anger

I went to the business office to get a purchase order for office supplies; I think it was a box of file folders or paper clips, and the attendant questioned me like I was Oliver Twist asking for more gruel! I felt anything like a professional. My face began to burn and I stepped outside before saying something I might regret. Most of us have been in similar situations and know the body language of anger. Our face flushes, our jaws tighten, our eyes become narrow slits and often our voices are raised an octave or two.

Anger is normal and natural.

It's noteworthy that the Apostle Paul wrote about two kinds of anger in Ephesians--an anger we must avoid (4:31) and an anger we harness for good (4:26).

Destructive anger brings physical harm, degradation of character or self-esteem and loss of fellowship with God. We've said about others, "That just didn't sound like him." Anger can turn us into a different person--a person others don't like and a person we don’t like!

Jesus warned in the Sermon on the Mount that we must not harbor anger in lives. He noted the Old Testament forbade murder, but it's like murdering another person in our hearts if we hold animosity for them.

Remember the housefly who gorged himself on stale baloney and then climbed up the knife handle to fly away, but fell dead. The moral is don't fly off the handle when you're full of baloney!

But there is an anger that leads to constructive change in our lives and in our society. We've seen several notable examples in recent years.

Adam Walsh was abducted and killed in 1981. His father, John, has done more than anyone to highlight the issue of child exploitation and abduction. Many businesses now have "Code Adam" when a child is reported missing. President Bush signed the Adam Walsh Child Safety Act in 2006.

Candace Lightner was heart-broken in 1981 when her daughter Cari, age 13, was killed by a drunk driver. Lightner was angry when she learned the driver had two previous offenses with minimal sentencing. She founded Mothers Against Drunk Driving which has done more than any other group to raise awareness of this problem.

And closer to home, we remember the sad story of Natalee Holloway who disappeared in 2005 in Aruba. Her mother, Beth, founded the Safe Travels organization and speaks to young people around the nation about protecting themselves when traveling overseas.

Anger can be good if it leads to positive change.

Words Worthy of the Lord

Billy Graham's "Decision" magazine asked journalism students to re-write a simple sentence: "Jesus came into my heart and changed my life." One student wrote, "My soul was starving until I let Jesus cook the meals." Another wrote, "When I met Christ, it was as if lightning struck, knocking me conscious." And still another wrote, "My life was X-rated until Jesus took a front-row seat."

The Apostle Paul did a re-write years ago when he said becoming a Christian was like taking off old clothes and putting on new ones. He explained a Christian "puts off" the old way of life and "puts on" the new garment of salvation (Ephesians 4: 22, 24). Just as the winner puts on the green jacket at Augusta National and is recognized as a champion, so we put on the garment of salvation and are recognized as followers of Christ.

The writer further explained some of the things included in that discarded garment: simmering anger, stealing and vitriolic words.

The Bible commands us to be angry. We ought to be angry at the right things, but we're also exhorted to make an end of anger (v. 26). And stealing, he insisted, isn't God's plan. We're to work for our wages and share with others in need (v. 28).

Paul called destructive speech "corrupt communication," and insisted followers of Christ should speak words of grace (v. 29).

Corrupt communication may mean at least two things.

One is profanity. "USA Today" printed a story entitled, "Run on Cussing in New Movies." In another story they reported on "The Wolf of Wall Street" that hit a new record: 506 uses of the f-bomb. Psychologists say we grow increasingly desensitized by coarse language, and that profanity contributes to the coarseness of society and to incivility.

Billy Sunday said a man is "low down" to cuss the God who wants to keep him out of hell.

But words of grace my also mean that we refuse to use language that demeans or devalues others. Washington Irving noted, "A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use."

Sometimes we use pointed words with our children so they'll understand the consequences of their actions. And employers use pointed words when employees don't live up to their potential. But we must be careful not to demean people with hateful and destructive words.

Dr. John Howell counseled a lady who felt worthless. The most often words she heard from her father when growing up were, "You're stupid." Here's a father who needed to learn words of grace.

Jesus said, "I tell you, on the Day of Judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak" (Matthew 12:36).

Here Comes The Bride

I heard a national computer-help radio program over the weekend, and the hostess talked about some electronic innovations at weddings. One is the small camera a bride can place in her bouquet, thus making photos of on-lookers as she walks down the aisle, as well as close-up views of the minister as he performs the ceremony. Another is the wristband measuring the bride's and groom's heart rates as they exchange their vows, and a printed copy added to the photo album. The most unusual is the use of a drone to drop the rings in the couples' hands rather than using a fidgety nephew as ring-bearer!

I must admit I've never seen any of this personally, but I did begin to think of some unusual things I've observed.

One groom intended to have his dog be "best man" at the outdoor wedding until he--the dog, not the groom--growled at a child on rehearsal night and was retired for the ceremony. The first wedding I attended as new pastor in a church was unusual when the pastor who'd been previously engaged to officiate said, in the midst of the ceremony, that if the couple ever decided to divorce, we who love them would continue to love them. Of course this was true, but I'd never heard a pastor offer an "escape clause" in the marriage contract.

The best story of all was told by Robert Fulghum of "everything I ever needed to know I learned in kindergarten" fame. He made famous the villain of weddings--the MOB as he called her. This acronym stands for "mother of the bride." I'm sure he was being funny, but we officiates do know we must please the MOB in all things!

Fulghum then told about the nervous bride who threw up in the middle of the ceremony. Oh, my. Fulghum wisely called for a time-out, and then started over after the bride had time to collect herself. We can only hope the poor lady was able to laugh at this later on.

So much of my wedding philosophy came from the late John Atherton, the long-time music minister at Selma's First Baptist Church. John always counseled couples that a Christian wedding is a worship service and pop and show tunes aren't appropriate. He also counseled couples to keep the levity and practical jokes away from the ceremony since participants are actually leaders as the congregation worships.

I'm fortunate that I've never had inappropriate requests made when I've officiated, but I've always remembered John's wise counsel. If a service is conducted under the auspices of the church, it ought to bring honor to the Lord of the church in every way.

Back to School

Where has the summer gone? Area schools open their doors again soon, to the chagrin of many students and to the delight of many parents. It was always a depressing time for me as a child when the more relaxed summer schedule was done!

Christians go to school, too, for the New Testament calls us “disciples.” This word has two meanings: to follow and to learn. As someone noted, the followers of Christ are branded on their ears and feet, for we hear his voice and we follow him.

Jesus, the master teacher, invites us to learn from him. He said, “Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me” (Matthew 11:29).

How do we learn in the school of Christ?

First, God through his Holy Spirit equips some to teach the Bible (Ephesians 4:11). This is a significant gift because teachers impact our lives.

I had some very good Bible teachers as a child and teen-ager. These were laypeople in our church who loved the scripture and taught us to love it, too. I had good teachers at Samford University, too, where I majored in religion.

The late Dr. W.T. Edwards challenged us to apply ourselves and learn.

We’d complain, “Dr. Edwards, this material is over our head.”

“Lift you head!” he’d always reply.

I had good teachers at Southern Seminary in Louisville, too, including Drs. Dale Moody, Frank Stagg and Lewis Drummond.

The pastor is a teacher and we should value time we spend hearing the Bible taught from the pulpit. Sometimes people get a bit nervous when high noon approaches and the service isn’t done. My family sat in the Atlanta Braves stadium some years ago. When the tied game went into the 10th inning the announcer said, “Free baseball!” When your pastor goes past twelve you ought to think “free church!”

We also have several fine Christian radio stations in our area so we can access good Bible teaching while relaxing at home or driving.

A second way we learn is by studying the scriptures ourselves. Luke said of the Berean church that they “searched the scriptures daily” (Acts 17:11). There’s no magic plan to personal Bible study. The most important principle is to have a daily appointment and do it.

And the final way we learn is through fellowship with Christ.

“Abide in me,” Jesus said (John 15:4). Just as we invite Christ into our lives to bring salvation, we invite him every morning to walk with us that day. Fellowship with Christ teaches us more about him.

Dr. Sigurd Bryan at Samford once said that the school of Christ never graduates a class, for we continue to learn until we die.

The Joy of Stuff

I read the story in "The Christian Century" last spring. The author and her husband held three teacups in their hands after the husband's mother downsized and moved to a smaller apartment. The couple talked about which items to keep, if any, or whether they should keep all three in a home that was already full of things. The question they asked about each item was, "Does this item spark joy?"

The writer said she got this concept from Marie Kondo who's written extensively about de-cluttering one's life. Kondo says that if an item doesn't spark joy it should be sold or given to another person for whom it would spark joy. An interesting corollary to this method is that Kondo suggests we even talk to the item we're about to discard, thank it for this joy and wish it well in its new place!

I'm not sure our friends would consider us sane if they came to our home and found us talking to the drapery and the silverware, but the basic premise is a good one. We express thanks for the things that bring joy to our lives.

I read the Apostle Paul's words with new appreciation this week: "Let [us] place confidence in God, who lavishly provides us with everything for our enjoyment" (1Timothy 6:17).

The above-cited verse is addressed to "the rich." Readers might deny this descriptor, but we are rich. By the grace of God we're Americans living in a land of plenty. The Global Village at Habitat for Humanity's International Headquarters in Americus, Ga. has actual housing from the third world--housing we wouldn't use for our dogs or lawnmowers in America. We are all wealthy.

And scripture affirms the concept that God is a lavish giver of things. He's not a killjoy; he wants us to enjoy possessions. Accordingly, some find joy in coins or stamps, salt shakers or ceramic frogs, political items or books. These things spark joy. And part of our reason for worship is to thank God for the joy we find in things.

But scripture also affirms that we must handle things responsibly by remembering the needs of others around us. Scripture pointedly asserts that if we have goods and see a brother without goods and don't share, the love of God is absent our hearts (1 John 3:17).

Ultimately we'll stand before God to give account of our use of every opportunity and every possession. John the revelator said both "small and great" will stand before the Lord of the universe. The small is you and me. The great is the Kennedys, the Rockefellers and Bill Gates. God will hold us accountable for how we used our possessions.

Quiet Desperation

On a trip to Boston a few years ago I visited Walden Pond, made famous by philosopher Henry Thoreau. Only the ruins of his cabin remain, but the pond is a popular swimming attraction for residents. Thoreau retreated to Walden Pond to think and to write. He famously said, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation, and go to the grave with the song still in them."

The Old Testament prophet Jeremiah, likewise, wished to retreat to ponder the plight of his nation. He wrote "Oh, that I could go away and forget them and live in some wayside shack in the desert, for they are all adulterous, treacherous men" (Jeremiah 9:2).

The prophet preached God's word, but his words fell on deaf ears. The people were fearful since the Babylonian army was nearby, but in their fear they turned to idols rather than to the living God who had power to deliver.

Judah's "ace in the hole" was Solomon's temple in Jerusalem. They reasoned that they were invulnerable since God lived there. The prophet taught that religion is more than a building and they couldn't mask their rebellion with a structure.

During the church burnings in Alabama a few years ago we came to a new understanding. We began to think about our faith and our congregations if we lost our buildings. We concluded that faith is a matter of the heart and not so much a matter of structure.

The people of Judah saw disaster in 586 B.C. when Babylon destroyed Jerusalem and the temple. Jeremiah walked through the smoldering ruins of the city and recorded his thoughts in the book of Lamentations.

Thoreau's words are yet true. People all around live in desperation, fearing terror, financial ruin and family breakdown. But the ancient message rings true today. Jeremiah told his countrymen to repent and return to the Lord.

Repentance is akin to the military term "about face." It means we turn from a life of disobedience to a life of obedience. It means we move in a new direction as we seek to serve the Lord. Repentance brings us to Christ for salvation, but repentance isn't a once-for-all event. We repent daily of actions and thoughts displeasing to the Lord.

Pastor Don Moomaw visited with President Reagan in the hospital after the assassination attempt in 1981, asking the president if he was ready to meet God. Reagan replied that he had things to accomplish first. Moomaw said that he didn't mean this, but if Reagan stepped into eternity, would he be ready to meet God. The president replied, "I have a savior."

We can recover from desperation when we turn from disobedience and call on the Savior.

Your Speech Betrays You

The lady behind the counter listened to my request, and then made a simple statement, "You're not from around her, are you?"

I was on a trip recently above the Mason-Dixon Line and I suppose it was clear I was from the Deep South! We Southerners don't really notice our speech patterns but we do notice those from other regions. And sometimes our nativity is revealed through the truisms we speak.

Vivian Ekberg of Ohio was a fellow officer in a political collectors club a few years back. The group customarily has a Saturday evening banquet with former president Jimmy Carter. Our meeting is late September and the president's birthday is October 1, so we've celebrated a few significant birthdays with him--75, 80, 85 and more recently, his 90th. Vivian was our secretary at the time and called to ask my blessings on her plans for the cake. She told me what kind of cake she'd ordered and when she thought the cutting should be in the banquet program.

She'd only just begun when I said, "Vivian, I don't have a dog in that fight. Do what you think best."

"A dog?" she said. "What does that mean?"

What I meant was I trusted Vivian to do the right thing and she always did a beautiful job without my input. I learned this is a Southern idiom apparently unknown north of the Ohio River!

The scripture tells a familiar story in all four gospels. Peter "followed afar off" when Jesus was arrested and lead to trial. He got close enough to see what was happening and to listen for information. He also got close enough to warm himself at a fire someone had started. Ministers of a generation ago used to preach about Peter "warming by the devil's fire." But at least he was close by. The other disciples had scattered.

Peter had minimal conversation with his compatriots around the fire, but enough conversation for them to know he wasn't a native Judean.

"You're with Jesus," one said to him. "We can tell you're not from here. Your speech betrays you" (Matthew 26:73).

Peter denied knowing Jesus in order to save his own neck, and confirmed these denials with cursing. At that moment the rooster crowed, and Peter wept his heart out knowing he'd denied the savior.

Our speech betrays us, too. It's relatively insignificant which section of the country we're from, but it's very significant that our speech is pleasing to the Lord.

Not only are we to speak words of truth and kindness, but we're enjoined to speak words of witness to those who don't know the savior. Jesus must be lord of all, including our tongues.

What's Your Story?

It happened every year at the worst time. The college mandated evaluations at the end-of-the-term. Since this was the time when final work was due, some students were careless or tardy in their work and some weren't happy with grades. I felt the evaluation was time to take revenge on the teacher, knowing I'd have a session with the dean to discuss what they wrote!

I'll never forget one student I had in a Bible survey course. Her evaluation was meant, I think, to be critical. She wrote, "All Dr. Brooks does is read the Bible and tell stories." I rather took this as a compliment since it was said about the master teacher, "Jesus always used stories and illustrations like these when speaking to the crowds. In fact, he never spoke to them without using such parables" (Matthew 13:34, NLT).

In public speaking we teach the value of stories. Some studies show an audience forgetting up to 90 percent of what is said after two days, but stories are more easily remembered. We tell students personal stories have even greater impact if the speaker is willing to be vulnerable and share what happened, whether good or bad. When students talk about humorous or hurtful things they can move an audience.

I suppose one benefit of aging is having a bevy of stories that can be retrieved in speaking or writing to illustrate scriptural principles.

For example, I can't think of biblical stewardship without remembering Earl and Stanley. Earl was enlisted for the finance committee one year, and he never wavered in his desire for people to give to the church. The problem was he never wanted the church to spend money! On the other hand, Stanley told us, "There's too much hurt in the world for us to sit on God's money. Let's spend it and help people."

And I can't think of serving outside the spotlight of public acclaim without remembering a lady who decided on her own to "police" the sanctuary after worship services. She picked up trash and saved re-usable bulletins. "This is God's house and I want it to look nice for him," she told me.

The early church impacted their world with the story of Jesus. They told of their encounter with him and how their lives were changed. The apostle Paul told his conversion story twice in the book of Acts, so we surmise he most often used it as a "hook" to get the attention of a street crowd when he preached the gospel.

Every Christian has a story about meeting Christ. As the old hymn reminds us, "Keep telling the story, be faithful and true. Let others see Jesus in you."

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

I vaguely remember the high school dating scene with multiple cases of “going steady” and break-ups. Some of these on-again, off-again relationships were hard to keep up with since they were on-again today and off-again tomorrow! Sometimes the break-up would be a note passed in class, or a tense telephone call. Break-ups were always hard to do, as Neil Sedaka used to sing.

I heard on the news lately about a new break-up service for those too timid to do it themselves. For a fee the service will send a text or e-mail such as “U R dumped,” and for a larger fee, will send someone to deliver the news personally. The service is advertised for “cowards” who don’t want to face the wrath of their beloved themselves!

I’ve thought lately that we need an ecclesiastical break-up service in the church.

A high school friend who pastors in the area told me of a family who sent him an e-mail announcing they wouldn’t be back. My friend said it was especially hurtful since the lady of the house had been on the search committee who brought him to his present preaching station. He thought they were close enough to talk about the family’s desire to leave, but apparently not so.

The coming and going of church members isn’t new, but it seems to have accelerated. Parents have always been in search of the best programs for the kids and have been willing to change churches. The last barrier we’ve seen come down is denominational. Research shows seekers want the programming and don’t seem to care if the provider is labeled Methodist, Baptist or Presbyterian.

I’ve always thought it wise to talk with one’s pastor if a family is pondering whether to leave their church. If there’s an issue involved, the pastor might be unaware and can take steps to remedy the problem whether it be a personal issue or one involving other church members. If there’s no issue involved other than the appeal of programs, or to go to the church where family or friends attend or not, as in the case of divorce, I still believe talking with the pastor is wise. Though disappointed, he will give his blessing, and some measure of relationship will continue.

I’ve known a few unscrupulous pastors who delight in stealing the “sheep” from other churches. This is regrettable since churches are partners, not competitors, and we’re all working for the same kingdom cause. As one of my boyhood pastors used to say, “There’s too much devil to fight for us to fight each other.”

Breaking up with one’s church should always be done with thoughtfulness and never with malice.

On Practicing Humility

It was years ago that I received a call from a neighboring pastor with an unusual request.

"Mike," he said, "my son John's in jail. He won't talk to me. Will you go see him?"

Of course I agreed. I don’t remember John's offense, but I do remember seeing a shaken 17 or18-year-old boy in a cell with men twice or three times his age. I learned that John was to be released soon, so I shared this with him and also encouraged him to use this experience as a springboard for growth. I also offered to be available for him if he wanted to talk in the future.

John told me he couldn't talk with his father, that his father was always angry with him and insisted since he was the pastor's child more was expected of him. John's father has since died and I've not seen John in a long time. I did pray for him this week that God would encourage his heart and use him for kingdom work.

I suppose I'm an expert on pastor's children since I have two. But I can only remember one time a well-intentioned lady told me my daughter should be in a certain extra-curricular activity at the church since "she's the pastor's daughter." Our daughter was active in church and loved her youth group, but had lost interest in this particular ministry. I gingerly told the lady that we must give people space to find their own way and their own place of service in God's work. The Master Designer made us all different for his own purpose, and he didn't use a cookie-cutter!

But I can remember other times I wasn't quite as understanding as a father in our house. There were occasions I had to gather family together and admit I messed up, or that I said something in haste or anger and I needed their forgiveness. This public confession was prefaced by private confession to the Lord.

No parent is perfect, and we fool ourselves and others when we claim otherwise. But in our frail humanity we can model humility before God and others. We can teach our children what to do when they mess up. And we can underscore to them that God's love is constant. He doesn't withhold love from us when we willfully sin, but continues to love us back to himself.

The golden key of effective human relations is in Philippians 2: 3: "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves."

One way we honor others is to be sure our relationships stay mended, at home and elsewhere.

Boys And Girls, Elmer’s Glue and God

Vacation Bible School--what childhood memories it evokes!

Many of the items hand-crafted in VBS, whether professionally-done or not, find their way to the refrigerator door, to dad's desktop or to that special box of treasures our mothers always kept.

My mother for many years displayed some of my childhood VBS handiwork: a framed print of a rooster trimmed in colored popcorn and kidney beans. I can’t remember now, but I suppose the biblical application had something to do with the familiar story of the cock crowing after Peter denied he was a follower of Jesus.

Back in those days we had two-week schools instead of today’s one-week or one-half week classes. Whenever I’ve suggested tongue-in-cheek to modern teacher-volunteers that we consider a second week, they only glare at me without saying a word.

Our denomination's church growth experts insist that Southern Baptists gain more new converts through Vacation Bible Schools than revivals. So this begs the question, "Why not have a second VBS every year rather than a revival?" I'm not sure, other than the rigors of finding workers and the intensity of VBS. And the summer revival seems to be ingrained into Protestant culture, though most often we find ourselves preaching conversion to faithful Christians who are already converted.

A special part of VBS for me as a pastor has always been the classroom visits when I'm invited to the various rooms to teach that day’s Bible story. It's interesting to hear the boys' and girls' versions of familiar stories.

In one church I was asked to teach Psalm 23 to the children. The theme was loneliness. I wanted to stress the fact that we’re never alone, for God is always with us.  

“Although David was in the wilderness alone with his flock,” I said, “he had a special friend who was with him at all times. Who was it?”

Denise, a freckle-faced bundle of sweetness replied, “He had the sheeps!”

We had a good laugh, for, of course, she was right.The highlight of VBS is the decision time when boys and girls have opportunity to accept Christ as savior. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these” (Matthew 19:14, NIV).

Many of us bear on our souls the fingerprints of patient teachers who taught us in the summertime about God’s love, and in many cases, brought us to faith in Christ.

Vacation Bible School is, indeed, a meaningful tradition in the Christian church. I hope it continues, if only for one week a year!

Let's Not Just Praise The Lord

A popular gospel song is titled, "Let's Just Praise the Lord." But one worship leader took issue with it--a worship leader with great credibility in the evangelical world at that.

The late Don Hustad provided music for Billy Graham's radio ministry, then worked as organist for Graham's televised crusades. Hustad later taught at Moody Bible Institute and the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He published an article in "Christianity Today" in 1979 titled, "Let's Not Just Praise the Lord."

Hustad's point was that "just" signifies completion. When a parent tell a child, "Just hush!" it means end-of-conversation. Hustad argued that it's not enough just to praise the Lord. We must take the additional step of obeying the Lord.

Hustad argued that this applied to worship. "Praise and worship" is a popular descriptor these days, but praise and worship is nothing new--it's as old as the Old Testament. And the church has praised and worshipped the Lord for the past 2000 years. Hustad believed praise leads one into the presence of the Lord, but the next step is surrender to him. Thus, it's not enough just to praise the Lord.

A mentor of mine taught me years ago that a worship service should begin with a hymn of praise to God the father, and then the music and scripture should move to other themes such as salvation and devotion and culminate with commitment. I've had some serious discussions with music ministers over the years about this, and I tried to convince them I was correct!

And what Hustad asserted applies to the Christian life.

Jesus told a parable in Matthew 21 about a father and two sons. The father told the first son, "Go and work in my fields today." The son said "no," but relented and went to work. The father told the second son the same thing. He said "Yes, I will," but he never made it into the father's fields. Jesus asked the religious leaders which son did the will of the father. The answer is obvious. Then he said, "The tax collectors and harlots enter into the kingdom of God before you" (Matthew 21: 31).

The religious leaders were represented by the son who initially said "yes" but who didn't do the father's will--they rejected the gospel. The dregs of society, the tax collectors and harlots, were those who heard the gospel, obeyed the heavenly father and experienced transformation.

Praise leads us into God's presence, but it's not complete in itself. And as Jesus reminded us, "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My father in heaven" (Matthew 7: 21).